ONE DEFIANT RESISTING HOMOSEXUAL’S RANT

I’ve been a nice guy all my fucking life… ALL my fucking life…I’ve been the good guy, the guy who turned the other cheek, who bore the brunt of every bad deed done to me with a smile, saying this will make me stronger; not bitter.

 

Fuck all of that. Fuck it all. I’m done with being the motherfucking football of homophobic, Bible-thumping, illiterate Neanderthals. I grew up with these nutjobs… they were my parents and my parent’s friends and I know how they think and this shit ain’t gonna get any better by turning the other cheek and letting them have their way. That’s what they want because they honestly think we liberals are “all pussies”…and we already know what their Commander-in-Chief said you should do with those.

 

We’re dealing with people who cannot be reasoned with. There’s no chance of a  “rational” conversation with an individual who slobbers every time their troll at the NRA says “it’s time to grab your guns because the liberal scourge is coming to take your rights away!” Their favorite conspiracy theorist is promoting a real-life civil war where they have a “final solution’ for anyone they deem different than them.

 

Don’t fool yourself into thinking this is all a flight of fancy in their fevered imagination. They’ve been dreaming about this for years… for FUCKING years. I know. I grew up in the middle of them. I heard their conversations. I know what they think. I know their hatred. And it has no limits. Their lives are so empty because of their “God” and their “pseudo-Christianity” that their unhappiness has spilled into their heart to fill where good things should be with nothing but boiling hatred. And they want to make the world as unhappy as they are. Their only joy is the idea that they will actually and finally be able to vent their self-repressed anger on the world with honest-to-goodness bloodshed.

 

So get a grip folks. Being a nice guy in a world of these people is like walking naked with an open wound in crocodile-infested swamp water. They’re just chomping to eat you alive.

 

I’ve experienced their vitriol in some form almost every day of my life since I ran away from my Evangelical home. I am gay. I am a gay photographer and gay author. They hunt people like us down on the internet just for the sport of trying to ruin our businesses and our lives and terrorize us. I have to block at least fifty of them a day on twitter. I have to guard my Facebook account and read every profile carefully of anyone who friends me looking for the religious fanatic, the Tea party radical, the homo-hating Republican to make sure they don’t infect my social life with their repressed rage.

 

They are not like us. We don’t go hunting for them in social media. We don’t purposely try to make their lives miserable. We don’t pointedly stalk people different than us. They do. Get that through your heads. They do. They stalk the liberals, the homosexuals, the atheists… WHY? Because they want to ruin your lives and businesses and bring you down into their own squalid misery….

 

So if you are thinking of sitting back passively and watching all of this like it’s a reality show…. got news for you…. this is as real as it fucking gets… They are out to win… and winning for them includes that gun in their hand and the freedom to use it as they please….

 

If order and law isn’t restored in this government…then the crazies will own it…and you will see something that has never been seen before… an Asylum of crazies running rampant over good, law-abiding, turn-the-other cheek people like I was…

 

So FUCKING resist… vote these motherfuckers out… make sure they never get back in… we have laws to keep things in balance… that’s why there are stop and go lights at every intersection… without them…every thing would be a wreck!!….

RainbowFist

Mentoring the Musenerd

The one role I never anticipated having in my life is that of a Mentor. I’ve never been a parent so the obligation didn’t seem to ever be slated for me. That. of course, changed when I took on my young apprentice/muse, Dirk. And then I realized something strange: it’s not a role assigned to you. It’s one you fall into because of age, experience and acquired wisdom – knowledge gained by living a normal periled life and surviving it.
I can remember – (way back when) – I was his age, and the trauma I felt when things went wrong. In the disastrous blinding heat of the moment you think you’ll never survive; nothing will ever be right again, and all is ruined. That’s, of course, until a few years later when something similar happens again and you calm your heartbeat, take a deep breath and realize… yep…been here, done that…made it through. Mentoring can only be done by those of us who have “made it through”. And that’s how we can help those younger than us when they hit the same turbulence.
The extraordinary thing I learned about mentoring is that it is another lesson for us. A retrospective lesson. At least it has been for me.
I’m still a very flawed individual in spite of having made it through many calamities. I find I still have the same impetuous “young” temper, impatience and intolerance for things that defy what I’d like to have in my life. But NOW, I have the realization that I can step back and teach myself new lessons: like patience, acceptance and perseverance. To never give up; never give in.
When my life came apart a few years ago I had to start over. That’s a hard lesson. To not have money; to give up things.. to do without other things; to reduce your lifestyle to the basics because of the drastic transition.  At first, I was angry as hell. I like nice things like everyone. The American way is designed to make us keep wanting nice things. We want to add to our life…not subtract from it. And the more I subtracted,(and it was A LOT), the more inwardly bitter I became.
Luckily I had a friend, a trainer who was a Buddhist. And though I’m not religious in the least I do believe every religion has something valuable to teach us. And what my young Buddhist friend taught me was to believe that every challenge was a test; every roadblock was a guide to the path we were actually supposed to be on.
I could no longer afford to go to restaurants. I was overweight anyway and a diet was in order. I had to give up Netflix and trips to the movie theater. It was time to buckle down and write those books I’d been putting off for years. I no longer had a home – traveling broadened my abilities to tell stories; be self-sufficient, even become fearless in approaching situations I was unaccustomed to. I could no longer afford the luxury of relaxing with the wine I enjoyed – exercise was a substitute to burn off the excess energy…and get back in shape. Being poor made me richer in the things that would round out my character and help me complete the things I’d always wanted to do. I have twelve books to show for that. I’m in the best shape I’ve been in for over fifteen years. For every single thing I had given up I’d been pushed in another direction… and it made me a better person. I can swear to that – honestly.
I don’t think I could have been as effective a mentor as I am right now at this very moment if I hadn’t sacrificed so much. Now I can actually say with complete conviction… be patient…it will all work out.. if it doesn’t work out…move in another direction. Don’t get upset; don’t complain and trust that you have what it takes to make it through… that’s what will make you a better person…
butterfly

Wanna see MORE HOT GUYS?

STORY IN A NUTSHELL
Thanks to every one pledging their contributions to our Patreon for the next photo shoots… This has been a process.. But a necessary one. Since I haven’t been able to do as many shoots as I used to without a permanent residence I’ve been living mainly on my writers income..which as most of you writers know in the past few months continues to diminish. I kept hoping to make enough to start up the photography again…but no go… and Dirk had been hoping for the two of us to work together…and possibly get a studio/apartment by the time he was out of school. No go again. On top of that his mom gave him an ulitimatum that if we didn’t have anything going, he would have to take the job with a studio his Grandmama lined up for him in Houston. (Yes.. he went into a panic.) So we decided to try the Patreon thingie… we figured if we didn’t ask for much, but just enough so we could get the shoots kickstarted again..we had a chance… so that’s the deal…. If you’d like to help you can contribute as little or as much as you like… every bit helps us closer to the goal… we’d like to be able to start shooting again next month… smoochers…

UPDATE on MORE SEXINESS

063abecause we’re new to the Patreon site we didn’t word it clearly enough to let folks know that when we ask for contributions it will only be toward the ONE Photo/Art Project we are working toward (at a time) and NOT a recurring monthly billing like some of the art students and Youtubers do… so you can contribute without getting caught in the same cycle. Also… because we are NOT working toward goals of making this our income like them…you can contribute as little as a dollar or as much as whatever… with more people adding just a little bit at a time… we can still get to our goal and start shooting again… So please join us… we want to make this work.. smoochers..

The main reason Dirk and I started the Patreon fund to finance our shoots is because we want to do something different… MORE intense… MORE passionate… More graphically engaging with the shoots. We want to be able to pay the guys a bit (we’re all poor) and feed them and provide them with a few beers and maybe a pizza for their hard work…

But We’re looking to do something to push past the barriers of what we’ve done. I want to let the guys be themselves in these erotic settings… to be able to fully express themselves and make that passion sizzle thru the photo so that it almost burns your screen up. We want to try new things… maybe a bit of cosplay… graphic story telling….

I’ve wanted to do a graphic story of a young, sweet-faced and innocent looking. almost sad hustler being picked up off the street by a man whose initial intention was simply to engage in some wild. quick sex… to show how from the sex something else happens… they fall for each other… hard… and when the hustler goes to leave… just as he walks out the door… he pulls him back for a kiss that isn’t bought… it’s real…

I want to solicit your suggestions for shoots… authors have vivid imaginations and we can provide the beautiful bodies to make those visions come to life. I really want to push the envelope with the new stuff… classy…but hot AND a tad more graphic…

I’d like to be able to do one or two shoots a month if we can get the financing for that. We’re not asking people for life savings, but with so many friends who enjoy my work, if you gave us what you’d spend on a Starbucks or a meal at Rally’s… the cumulative effect would get us there quite easily…

We’ve got so many great plans.. but we need to get the ball rolling… if ya wanna help… here’s the place…

we love ya and thank ya and hope to give ya some really hawt and wonderful stuff..

The Patreon Friends donation site:  https://www.patreon.com/DanSkinnerArt

 

MORE SEXINESS

302aaaaaThe main reason Dirk and I started the Patreon fund to finance our shoots is because we want to do something different… MORE intense… MORE passionate… More graphically engaging with the shoots. We want to be able to pay the guys a bit (we’re all poor) and feed them and provide them with a few beers and maybe a pizza for their hard work…

But We’re looking to do something to push past the barriers of what we’ve done. I want to let the guys be themselves in these erotic settings… to be able to fully express themselves and make that passion sizzle thru the photo so that it almost burns your screen up. We want to try new things… maybe a bit of cosplay… graphic story telling….

I’ve wanted to do a graphic story of a young, sweet-faced and innocent looking. almost sad hustler being picked up off the street by a man whose initial intention was simply to engage in some wild. quick sex… to show how from the sex something else happens… they fall for each other… hard… and when the hustler goes to leave… just as he walks out the door… he pulls him back for a kiss that isn’t bought… it’s real…

I want to solicit your suggestions for shoots… authors have vivid imaginations and we can provide the beautiful bodies to make those visions come to life. I really want to push the envelope with the new stuff… classy…but hot AND a tad more graphic…

I’d like to be able to do one or two shoots a month if we can get the financing for that. We’re not asking people for life savings, but with so many friends who enjoy my work, if you gave us what you’d spend on a Starbucks or a meal at Rally’s… the cumulative effect would get us there quite easily…

We’ve got so many great plans.. but we need to get the ball rolling… if ya wanna help… here’s the place…

we love ya and thank ya and hope to give ya some really hawt and wonderful stuff..

 

The Patreon Friends donation site:  https://www.patreon.com/DanSkinnerArt

What’s YOUR PLEASURE?

PatreonPROMOUSE

https://www.patreon.com/DanSkinnerArt

Now you can support the type of sensual, erotic male photographic art you enjoy!
By being a contributor to our Dan Skinner Art Patreon “Friends Club” you’ll become a member of our interactive resource in bringing you the finest, most beautiful male models and the most exquisite, romantic and titillating photo art ever!
Here’s what we plan to do: for your contributions we invite you to participate in telling us what you would like to see us photograph. Throw any exciting idea at us: flirtatious scenes, cosplay role-playing, romantic or  even naughty. We’ll give them to the guys when we shoot to see what triggers their playful imaginations. Each month we’ll have new guys, your new ideas and new shoots. We plan on doing newsletters chocked full of behind-the-scenes fun stuff and photos (especially the naughty stuff)…and even small vids of how we shoot scenes. Ya’ll like to see guys kissing; don’t ya’ll? We’ll do plenty of that. And yes, there will be plenty of the naked stuff. Romance ain’t romance unless there’s plenty of skin.
So here’s the deal: ya’ll can contribute.. as little or as much as you want. It will go to paying the models, finding the locations and the food and what-not we need on a shoot. Details on what we need to get a shoot going are on the Patreon site itself, but what’s great… with as many friends as I have, every little bit we get will get us to a shoot fast… and you’ll have the fun stuff even faster!
For authors who contribute $250.00 or more, we can offer in return a small video of the models promoting your book if you provide a link to the book. We’ll send you the vid which you can use on your own blog. What better way to get commercial attention?
Eventually we plan to offer interactive chats with the models once we get everything up and running. Even Youtubes and an eventual Vlog. Sounds great; doesn’t it?
Are you excited yet? Good. So are we! So contribute NOW and let’s get the ball rolling and the guys out of their clothes and kissing on camera!
see more of my work here:  https://theknobgoblin.tumblr.com/
and the galleries here: http://danthedanimal.deviantart.com/

ONE HOMOSEXUAL’S RESISTANCE

Fist hand with rainbow flag patterned isolate on whiteI’m in a bad space and I can’t pretend any longer that I ain’t. Trump, this illegitimate President – this moron, narcissist (fill in every vile adjective you can come up with; I have thousands for him), has brought this on me. And it’s not that I’m a stupendously political person. I normally don’t even express political opinions. But this orange creature devoid of anything but self-love has opened his own Pandora’s Box of grotesqueries that are blanketing our country with a plague of Dis-ease, worry and fear. I am not immune. I have reasons.
For those who have followed my career as a gay photographer and author, you also know that I was raised by radical Evangelical/fundamentalist parents. I was born into their church. It was everything I knew up until the age of seventeen when I could take it no longer, rebelled and ran away. I’d been brainwashed, abused and even tortured by my parents at the command of their pastors because “I was too effeminate”, or “didn’t sit properly like a man,” or had “homosexual tendencies”, that made other parents in the church leery to have me around their own children. I had been beaten regularly, and when that no longer worked, I was tied up and left in a closet until I either repented or recited Bible passages verbatim to them through a keyhole as the password back to “freedom”. I’d never been allowed to associate with any kids outside of the church. We had been brainwashed that they were “liberals”, and that made them creatures of Satan.
When I realized I was gay I thought my life was actually over. That life had condemned me because I’d been taught that homosexuality was an abomination and that gay people would burn in hell for eternity. The God I believed in didn’t hear my prayers to change me and so I hoped, quite simply, to die before I became any worse.  I didn’t die. God obviously didn’t listen to homosexuals. I figured we were condemned to survive two hells. The one that came after living… and the one we endured while living. To tell you that my teenage years were black doesn’t convey the depth of that darkness. When you hear from the pulpit every week, and from your parents every day that everything in the world outside of the church is sinful and will eventually be cleansed by God’s holy fire, you realize there is no where to run. That leaves you in the abyss of yourself trying to deal with the horror of your life… and the imagined horror of the world outside it.
Near the end of my teens, for my sanity’s sake, I accepted who I was. I couldn’t change who I was. It was the only option I had left. I rebelled and was excommunicated from the church. This did not sit well with my parents – especially my father who grew more intense in his discipline of me. When I refused to cry by the beatings, I was knocked unconscious, tied to chairs or locked in shed in the back yard in the sweltering summer heat as lessons to try and bring me back to their way of thinking – the way I’d been raised… the way I’d been brainwashed. It didn’t work.
I know I have some form of PTSD from my childhood. There are huge swaths of memory that are missing. They’ve been compartmentalized or erased by that child, I guess, to keep me as sane as possible. I only have flashes of them in my nightmares. I struggle with the idea that my life was so horrid and untenable because my parents believed that “God” had made us his “chosen ones”, and we had to follow the strict teachings of the church and the proclamations of it’s pastors to assure our redemption before he brought it all to an horrific cataclysm.
I ran away. For years I never spoke to my parents. I blocked them from my mind. I tried to purge myself of the hate and fear and terror with which they painted my tender psyche. I made my own life in the world… “God” and religion-free. I became a liberated homosexual. I accepted myself and knew that I was as normal as any other living creature on the planet. But most of all.. I tried to put what had been taught to me by my parents and their church behind me because I knew it was vile, soulless and rotten to the core. It’s not an easy task. My formative years had been ruined. I had lost a childhood. There were no photo albums filled with happy pictures of family vacations. There were no memories of joyful childhood experiences. I had ran into the world without any normalcy to my life. It would be a struggle to try to begin and fill it with some.
And I did the best I could. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved in spite of my origins. I’ve integrated into society as a proud gay person, an author and photographer and generally very decent person. But the anger was always there like tea steeping stronger in a pot; growing darker and blacker inside me. I was angry at what had been done to me; about the simple joys of childhood that had been stripped from me – about the beatings; the tortures, that all came with Bible quotes that, to this day, I cannot erase from my memory. I knew that my parents had been insane; that their church was a cesspool of insanity. I was thankful I’d escaped. So. I watered this anger down as best as I could through the years. I wanted to enjoy LIFE.
Like any writer I tried to purge myself of the bitterness with my work. Every single thing I’ve written has a taste for my disdain of religion. I consider it to be a perversity. And each thing I wrote seemed to lessen the weight of the burden of the blackness inside me. I thought I’d found a viable way to finally free myself from the tyranny of my anger.
That was when I began to notice what was shaping up in politics. From Jerry Falwell on, the Evangelicals have been slowly, carefully and meticulously slithering their way into politics. They wanted to reshape our country into “their world”, “their laws”, “their belief system”. I became concerned. More and more Evangelical politicians gradually began emerging in one of the parties of our government. And each one came in with their agenda. And I knew what that agenda was because I’d heard it every week from the pulpit when I was a child, and in the private conversations of each and every member of the congregation. “To destroy the unbelievers”. “To bring God’s kingdom to the world through the Apocalypse.” “To make liberal blood flow in the street as high as the horses bridles!”
We were taught that public education was Satan’s means of corrupting children. We’d been taught that Science was Satan’s tool to deceive. We were taught that the liberal mind was demon-possessed. We’d been told to prepare for a “War”. My family had a pantry stockpiled with food. Every family was taught to keep firearms hidden. They said when the war came that the liberals would try to use the art of “Satan’s tongue” or rational dialogue to dissuade us. We had been instructed to never listen to a liberal because it was like listening to a chorus of demons. And when the “Time” came, we would have to have the courage to face the demons and kill them without mercy. That was what “God” wanted.
THIS..is what is taught in the Evangelical churches. If you try to reason with them you have only put yourself in their gun sites. There is no reasoning with someone with this level of brainwashing.
AND they were infiltrating our government slowly and surely, one by one.
I thought for certain people would see, as I had, that they were insane and dangerous. But instead they made them into clown creatures to ridicule. But that didn’t stop them. More and more they began to take over House and Senate seats; Governor’s offices… all the way down to grassroots level. Like I said, they had an agenda. You’ll see it in everything they oppose: women’s rights, racial equality, freedom of the press, the arts and sciences; the various other religions… and homosexuality.
When Marriage Equality became an issue, it gave them a clear focus of determination. That, they said, was a sign of the “End of Times” and it was the starting gun for their “Crusade.” God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, in their interpretation, in retaliation for homosexuality. The rise of the homosexual in society, for them, was the signal that it was time for them to act on “God’s” behalf.
In a country that was Constitutionally founded on a separation of church and state, they made it clear that they would not accept this. In retaliation for Marriage Equality, they banded together to write opposing laws as “Religious Freedom”. They were making it abundantly clear that “Queers” were the final spoilers of society and they would not tolerate it.
I had high hopes. We pushed back and won on many. many levels. Intelligent reasoning and the sane laws of our country’s foundation worked hand-in-hand to protect what should have been our undeniable rights. Obama helped us make progressive strides forward. There was enough hope to make me believe we could stave the crazies off. Keep them harmlessly in their clown car where we could be occasionally amused by them.
Then Trump happened. The unimaginable.  A man so unqualified for high office that he was a joke. So undignified, racist, misogynistic and homophobic that an intellectual society would thoroughly dismiss him. And then he was in… and anchored to him… the Evangelicals.
His cabinet is festooned with their belief system: the despising of women, other religions; the blatant racism and the overt hatred for homosexuality.
The blackness I’d ran away from as a child in my home… had taken over the country. The Evangelicals were in place to rewrite laws to make anything and everything outside of their belief system an offense. The unimaginable now reared its serpent’s head and it’s fangs came loaded with fear for anyone who recognized them for the snakes that they are.
I know these people well. They will not stop. They cannot be reasoned with. There will be no rational dialogue. They will have no epiphany to bring harmony to those who believe differently. They are the blackness. They are soulless. They are vile.
So I am in this bad space. But I’ve been here before. The advantage is that even though they are in government, we outnumber them. There is a force of resistance out there. it’s vocal and determined, like I was back then; like I am now. We must become MORE determined than them. We must oppose them on every single thing. For every dark deed they do we have to throw a spotlight on it… the educated, thinking world will NOT allow these monsters FREE reign…
I truly believe that every struggle makes us stronger. Mine did. That I feel this struggle coming on again makes me more determined. It’s time for you to feel it too. I hope you do. The World is counting on us.
Dan Skinner #resistanthomosexual